how to succeed in malnourishing onself without really trying

Monday, 20 February 2006

how to succeed in malnourishing onself without really trying

eunmi's fat analysis:

age: 25
height: 5ft 4.5in
weight: 107.6 lbs (remarks: underweight)
BMI: 18.2
FAT%: 20.1%
BMR: 5034kJ or 1203 kcal
impedance 574 omega (which i don't know what means and forgot to ask)
FAT MASS: 21.6 lbs
FFM: 86 lbs
TBW: 63 lbs (which i also don't know what means and also forgot to ask)

Desirable range
FAT%: 17-24%
FAT MASS: 17.6 - 27.2 lbs (comment: No excess fat)

Bone density result:
Distal radios T-Score: -2.2 (comment: osteopenia)

****

I am shrinking!

how is it possible to be eating, nay feasting, and still lose weight?
and yet a fifth of my weight is fat. isn't there something wrong with that?
how can i have osteopenia? just last year, i had my test and i was positively above normal!

all right, i confess i haven't been eating right. i do feast on sundays. but the rest of the days i eat only when i feel the hunger, at night, usually, upon arriving home. i remember complaining of being unable to stop eating because of constant hunger...that seemed ages ago, when i was still interesting. i've forgotten how consuming hunger feels like. i almost never go hungry these days.

i think too much that i've forgotten hunger.

i suspect a mild eating disorder; a psychological anorexia of some sort, where i only eat so i can still consider myself not anorexic. and i eat zero value food. just something to fill my stomach. and make me happy. chocolate. as long as i get my coffee and tea i'm okay. nutrient anorexia.

****

wait next week for my ECG results. i just had to find out if the chest pains i feel on rare occasions are not imagined.

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i'm too plunged in black apathetic melancholy to physically want to eat right and exercise.